To borrow from Gil Scott-Heron; the revolution will not be televised. I am, of course, talking about the supposed internal coup that will occur if (or rather, when) Jeremy Corbyn assumes control of the Labour Party. It won’t be televised, not because of some sudden onset of stage-fright or objection to the public airing of party laundry, but because - despite the mumblings and rumblings populating the national press - it simply isn't going to happen. Ignore the ‘senior Labour MP’ sources who painstakingly leak their plans for a party upheaval. Cast aside the think-pieces on what rebellious tactic would suit the party best. No, Labour have bottled it, and they won’t be shouldering political arms in order to put things right.
Watching from afar, the Conservatives will have gleaned one piece of valuable information from this farce of a leadership contest (other than realising that Labour’s capacity for self-destruction rivals that of an 80’s heavy metal band): Labour are spineless. In dealing with the imminent threat of a Corbyn leadership, they have collectively displayed less backbone than the invertebrates who first populated the primordial soup - coincidentally the same era from which their new policies will be recycled. It’s a shame, as the Labour ranks do actually hold some decent politicians, in both method and personality. The likes of Simon Danczuk have been afforded too little voice with which to speak out, and the Leftist derision that greeted Jon Cruddas’ findings - anti-austerity really isn't that popular with the public, much to no-one’s surprise - must have been utterly depressing for those working so hard to drag Labour away from the lunacy of the Hard Left.
The other three candidates could have torn Corbyn apart on any number of issues, be it his ‘friends’ of dubious morality, his bonkers economic concepts, or simply the fact that he would be an absolutely disastrous leader. But they didn’t. They cowered away, secretly hoping that someone else would stand up to the big bad Left, and by the time they decided to show a little gumption and speak out, it was too late.
Labourites should have been inundated with ominous predictions and grave warnings from their leading political lights at the first sign of Corbynmania. Instead, as the database of ‘registered supporters’ rapidly filled with caustic Socialists and idealistic ignorami, those still-undecided members had only the dire warnings of dusted-off Blairite antiquities to dissuade them from electing Corbyn - not the most effective form of persuasion for a modern Labour electorate. The PLP failed to stand up to Corbyn - for fear of offending the Hard Left and the Unions - and the Labour membership allowed themselves to be bullied by the rabid masses of internet browbeaters who have adopted the MP for Islington North as their Marxist messiah.
It’s sad - and I say that as a Tory. No-one wants to win by default; there is no glamour in winning a race in which all but you trip and fall. Besides, to function effectively, British government requires a strong opposition, not a throwback neo-Trot protest party. But that’s what the Conservatives will face, come September. A blinkered, economically nonsensical, pony-for-every-child, socialist opposition. And at its head will be Corbyn, a man out of whom the Tories will make mincemeat in 2020 - if he hasn't driven his party into the abyss before then.
Labour should do something - anything - to either stop Corbyn’s ascension, or to swiftly remove him from power once he assumes the leadership. But they won’t - they don't have the stomach for the fight. Corbyn will irreparably damage Labour for a generation, but don’t shed a tear for them: it’s their own damn fault.